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Well, an update: Jackson Lee was born via c-section at 1:16am his morning.  We have major problems...I went into the ER with the thought that I was just dehydrated and would need a couple bags of fluid, as it turns out, my liver was swollen and I was dealing with HELLP Syndrome.  I had a c-section by my ob's partner 20 minutes later and Jackson was 4lbs 3 oz. and only 35 weeks.  His lungs are behind and he's currently getting a chest tube to drain the extra fluid.  He's had a platelet transfusion already today.  I am now dealing with additional liver function problems and dropping platelets.  Jackson is at a different hospital than I am, they took him to a childrens hospital which I understand is for the best, but it's killing me.  Todd (bf) is staying with the baby and I'm plugging along here.  Just wanted to update...thinking of you ladies and hoping that everyone is having a great day.

Just wanted to et everyone know that Jackson Lee arrived at 1:16 this morning....we have many problems to deal with right now so any prayers would be appreciated. I'll post more later when I'm feeling a bit better.

Hi Guys, I'll post more later, but right now, I am asking for prayers and thoughts for Todd's mom.  We just got some really bad news abouther health.  Like I said, I'll post more later, when I know more, but please, send a prayer her way this morning.  Thank you...

		I will marry Todd.
		After a wild honeymoon, We will settle down in Toledo in our fabulous House.
		We will have 5 kid(s) together.
		Our family will zoom around in a Green Mustang.
		I will spend my days as a Life Guard, and live happily ever after.

1. What was the straw that broke the camel's back with Daniel? What wasn’t?! haha no, honestly this is a really difficult question for me to answer the more I think about it. It had gotten to a point where all we did was fight and I would stay late at work so as to not spend time with him…He was doing the same thing on the weekends. I realized on my birthday (when I went away for a work trip) that it didn’t phase him not to be with me and I wasn’t too bothered by it either, as horrible as that sounds. We had “grown up” together so to speak and I think we were only staying together because it was a comfort thing really. Hmmm, hope that’s an answer! My mother always told me that you know that you should try to make it work with someone when you think about not being with them and running into them with someone else…how does that situation make you feel?? When it got to the point where I didn’t get a crap, I knew it was the right time.
2. What makes you feel sexy/beautiful? This is another tough question….Sadly, I don’t have an answer to this…to be quite honest, not too much makes me feel good about myself. When I look in the mirror all I see are faults and shortcomings. I suppose I have some stuff to work on…
3. If you could vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go? Tahiti or on a long cruise somewhere tropical.
4. What is your biggest fear? 1.) Losing someone that I love. 2.) being alone in life.
5. What is one talent you wish you had? I wish that I could hip hop dance and now I sound stupid! hahah

All I have to say or ask rather is this...

why on earth do some boys (or men, in this case) have to ask like such crapheads (for lack of better words)?? I don't get it...and it's been my experience that the better looking they are (hence, the more they think of themselves), the more crappy they can be. Ugh. that's all I have to say.

:)

[X] You know how to make a pot of coffee
[x] You keep track of dates using a calendar
[x] You own more than one credit card
[] You know how to change the oil in a car
[x] You've done your own laundry
[x] You vote in every election
[x] You can cook for yourself
[X] You think politics are exciting
TOTAL SO FAR: 7

[x ] You show up for school/college/work every day early.
[x]You always carry a pen in your bag/purse/pocket
[x]You’ve never gotten a detention
[ ]You have forgotten your own birthday at least once
[x]You like to take walks by yourself
[x] You like watching talk shows
[x] You know what ‘credibility’ means without looking it up
[] You drink coffee at least once a week
TOTAL SO FAR: 13


[x] You know how to do the dishes
[x] You can count to 10 in another language
[x] When you say you're going to do something you do it
[x] Your parents trust you
[x ] You can mow the lawn
[x] You can make adults laugh without being stupid
[x] You remember to water the plants
[x] You study when you have to
[x] You pay attention at school/college/work.
[x] You remember to feed your pets.
TOTAL SO FAR: 23


[x] You can spell ‘experience’ without looking it up
[x] You work out on a regular basis
[ ] The people at Starbucks know you by name
[x] Your favorite kind of food is take out
[ ] The first thing you do when you wake up is get caffeine
[x] You can go to the store without getting something you don't need
[x] You understand political jokes the first time they are said
[x] You can type quickly
TOTAL SO FAR: 29

[x] You have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour
[ ] Your only friends are from your place of employment
[] You have been to a Tupperware party
[] You have realized that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job
[ ] You have more bills than you can pay
[X] Most of all your friends are older than you are
[x] you can say no to staying out all night
[x] You use the internet every day
[] Your wardrobe hasn’t changed in a while
[ x] You can read a book and actually finish it
TOTAL ADDED UP: 34

Add up all the x’s and add six to your total and there's your answer

34 :)

so, the new guy broke up with me yesterday...i'm the one to blame...but, i suppose i'll get over it...just had something good going for me and i blew it...but, that's typically my style...hahah...

Anyway, nothing else to report...i'm kinda tore up about it, but as my dad always says, my heart might ache, but it won't break....the guy even took me off his myspace and replaced me with another girl that i know! LOL now i'm being childish...ugh, just hate this dating crap....perhaps i'm meant to be single for a really really long time! lol

until next time...

A

What's been going on in my life...let's see...not too much, but I'll try...

Daniel: well, it's finally time for him to move to montana...guess he's been hired on with the local police department and will go through the academy on their dime starting in the fall. Good for him, although, that was at one time my goal, it's good that he's doing it. It'll be good for him, i'm sure. We've been spending a little time together once and a while. He's still guilt tripping me to make himself feel bettter, but...as hard as it's going to be, this move is going to be the closure that we both need. It's difficult to think that he won't be anywhere near me and we'll drift apart after this, but I guess it's the way that it was meant to happen...it'll be the end of that chapter...don't get me wrong, I feel like I am over him in that way, but 6 1/2 years doesn't just end and one moves on. Anywho, thanks for letting me vent.

My family: everyone is doing alright...surviving as usual. my mom is going thru the typical battery of testing for her heart and liver...it's always a waiting game at U of M hospital it seems. No one is in a hurry to find out anything or get anything done. My grandpa woke up blind about 2 weeks ago, scary. He ended up having surgery and now has partial vision again, thank goodness. my brother is still in his abusive relationship...will he ever learn?!? We're not sure, but we're here for him and we love him so I guess that's all we can do at this point. My real father is a dating machine at the moment. He's been going out with different women every night...insert eye rolling here....I do get the joy of hearing about all the dates every morning on the phone...oh lucky me :)

Job: still no job for me...I've been searching like a mad woman. the economy is just so bad around here that there are no jobs and the real estate is not moving. i'll find something, it'll just take a bit...i hope.

the new guy: well, he's still dating other people...i'm not. it's going pretty well. he's a really nice guy, like i've mentioned before. the grey area that we are in is difficult for me to understand...i'm not a good in between person, but at this point, it is what it is and i'll have to take it or leave it, eh?!

Well, what else...I've been back to the gym for the past week or so. I go in phases...but i've finally realized that i have the mindset that i need to have to really focus right now. i'm still looking for my willpower, but it's a start ;)

Hope that everyone is doing well!!!